we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
