If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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