also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
