that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
