are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
