oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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