dude i'm inner monologue high
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
