hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
