what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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