We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
