i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
