He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
