Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
