remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
