He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
