Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
