is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize