Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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