Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
