I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
