I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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