So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
