a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
