This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
