Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
