To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
