DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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