you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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