i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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