Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
