I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
