I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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