im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
