The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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