North Korea, Best Korea!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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