She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
