my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
