thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
