singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
