Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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