I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
