I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
