Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
where am i from again
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
