and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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