A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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