So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i out mim tonsoeep
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