so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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