i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
