what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
