before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
