Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
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