i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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