I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
