it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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