we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
