You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
