just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
