Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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