But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
