ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
