Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
