one might say we're banned from that church
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
