I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
