Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
