Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she told me i tasted like america
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
