HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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